... that yesterday on my Monday night run with the Running Room, six weeks into the Learn to Run program, I finally had a run that felt really great.
It was our first run of 5:1 +2, the temperature had broken from where it had been the last couple of weeks, the music on my headset was the right tempo, my legs seemed to finally be accustomed to my calf sleeves, and the calf sleeves seem to be working well at preventing my shin pain. It was the moment where the lightbulb came on, and things came together, I was able to actually push my lungs rather than my legs, and it all just felt really great.
Past self, future self, are you listening? Six weeks before it felt right, even when you started at the very beginning. Six weeks, a trip to the RMT, a set of running shoes and a set of compression sleeves later and it finally feels good. Patience, because despite your willingness to jump in headlong to new adventures, it appears your body would actually very much like it for you to slow down and do the work. What a crazy notion!
I've finally settled on doing the 5km clinic next. I was going to push for the 10km clinic, but I love to get ahead of myself, and since I'm trying not to do that, I'm going to slow down and do this one step at a time.
Tuesday, July 9, 2019
Friday, June 14, 2019
Surrender your ego
I've done plenty of hard things in the last few years, and cut enough corners to know that you can get through on less than you think, it will be harder than it should be when you get there, and you might fail where you should have succeeded.
I've also learned that pretty much everyone will help you cut yourself slack for doing "what you can" on the day of the thing. No one will make you feel bad for going and doing a half marathon poorly prepared. In the beginning, people might express concern that you're not in the right shape to do the thing, but after it's said and done, you'll hear "Well, you went and tried and that's more than I can say for myself."
They'll say, "You did a great job."
After it's done, absolutely no one will tell you that had you have done the prep you should have, you would have gone in more prepared, and you would have finished stronger and healthier. You did the thing. Yay, you!
Did I tell you I ran the Scotiabank Waterfront Half Marathon last October? I did. Well, I ran and I walked and I finished. I finished a full 20 minutes faster than I thought I would and about 12 minutes and 38 seconds before the official cut off time. The first 10km I got through purely on the fear that I would get short turned due to time, pushing harder than I thought possible. The next 8km or so was on adrenaline and some really good music, and the last 3.1km were purely on the fact that I was hurting and I wasn't going to be this sore and not finish. I was blessed with family spectators in the last couple of km and a friend at the finish line who ran me in, and I would have crossed walking if it wasn't for her.
And then? Then I was ordered to take 6 weeks off because of a nasty injury from bad running form, bad prep and the wrong shoes. Then I got a lung infection from bringing my excercise to a dead stop, from not supporting my body with the right nutrition, from not helping my immune system prepare for and recover from the kind of stress that a half marathon brings to any body, forget that of someone who is 265 lbs. The lung infection knocked me out of running until the new year. Then I lost all motivation. Then I got another lung infection. Then we had a bunch of shitty weather.
And then I went out and did the Chilly Half Marathon in March. Well, I did the Frigid 10k, walking almost all of it, and in a huge amount of pain. Five months working the perfect ass grove into my couch didn't really do much to prepare me to go walk 10km, forget try to run it. I was out of shape even for me, and I felt every step because of it. I felt ashamed because I knew better, but I had listened to my ego telling me it would be ok. I didn't want to drop out, I didn't want to drop distances, so I did the wrong thing the wrong way and paid for it.
After that, I set about feeling embarrassed and ate my body weight in sugar for a couple more months, because historically I'm excellent at adding insult to injury. I didn't sleep enough. I paid for a gym membership I didn't use. I stopped meditating. I didn't go to physio or see my RMT. I did absolutely nothing to make the situation better, and a whole lot to make it worse.
I could feel myself hitting the limits of my coping skills. I struggled to do much more than spin like a top when confronted with challenges. I felt overwhelmed, anxious and had stress gnawing at my gut and my chest. When it was all said and done, I was ready to collapse after any slightly stressful day.
What is it they say about change? You only change when staying the same becomes more uncomfortable than changing.
What is it they say about failure? “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
I started running again on Monday. This time, with the Running Room's Learn to Run program. These people have been creating runners for 35 years. This time, instead of assuming I know better, I'm trying someone else's way.
Surrender. Just show up and do the thing. Don't cut corners. Do the work. See what happens. There's always a new way to fail better.
I've also learned that pretty much everyone will help you cut yourself slack for doing "what you can" on the day of the thing. No one will make you feel bad for going and doing a half marathon poorly prepared. In the beginning, people might express concern that you're not in the right shape to do the thing, but after it's said and done, you'll hear "Well, you went and tried and that's more than I can say for myself."
They'll say, "You did a great job."
After it's done, absolutely no one will tell you that had you have done the prep you should have, you would have gone in more prepared, and you would have finished stronger and healthier. You did the thing. Yay, you!
Did I tell you I ran the Scotiabank Waterfront Half Marathon last October? I did. Well, I ran and I walked and I finished. I finished a full 20 minutes faster than I thought I would and about 12 minutes and 38 seconds before the official cut off time. The first 10km I got through purely on the fear that I would get short turned due to time, pushing harder than I thought possible. The next 8km or so was on adrenaline and some really good music, and the last 3.1km were purely on the fact that I was hurting and I wasn't going to be this sore and not finish. I was blessed with family spectators in the last couple of km and a friend at the finish line who ran me in, and I would have crossed walking if it wasn't for her.
And then? Then I was ordered to take 6 weeks off because of a nasty injury from bad running form, bad prep and the wrong shoes. Then I got a lung infection from bringing my excercise to a dead stop, from not supporting my body with the right nutrition, from not helping my immune system prepare for and recover from the kind of stress that a half marathon brings to any body, forget that of someone who is 265 lbs. The lung infection knocked me out of running until the new year. Then I lost all motivation. Then I got another lung infection. Then we had a bunch of shitty weather.
And then I went out and did the Chilly Half Marathon in March. Well, I did the Frigid 10k, walking almost all of it, and in a huge amount of pain. Five months working the perfect ass grove into my couch didn't really do much to prepare me to go walk 10km, forget try to run it. I was out of shape even for me, and I felt every step because of it. I felt ashamed because I knew better, but I had listened to my ego telling me it would be ok. I didn't want to drop out, I didn't want to drop distances, so I did the wrong thing the wrong way and paid for it.
After that, I set about feeling embarrassed and ate my body weight in sugar for a couple more months, because historically I'm excellent at adding insult to injury. I didn't sleep enough. I paid for a gym membership I didn't use. I stopped meditating. I didn't go to physio or see my RMT. I did absolutely nothing to make the situation better, and a whole lot to make it worse.
I could feel myself hitting the limits of my coping skills. I struggled to do much more than spin like a top when confronted with challenges. I felt overwhelmed, anxious and had stress gnawing at my gut and my chest. When it was all said and done, I was ready to collapse after any slightly stressful day.
What is it they say about change? You only change when staying the same becomes more uncomfortable than changing.
What is it they say about failure? “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”
I started running again on Monday. This time, with the Running Room's Learn to Run program. These people have been creating runners for 35 years. This time, instead of assuming I know better, I'm trying someone else's way.
Surrender. Just show up and do the thing. Don't cut corners. Do the work. See what happens. There's always a new way to fail better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
