In the past week or so I’ve run into a couple of issues where people have repeated very personal conversations between myself and whoever the other party was. Usually part of the conversation is taken out of context, misrepresented or is a highly emotional conversation that was never intended to be communicated beyond the parties involved. The worst part about all of this is that it leads to questions from third parties, or a lot of joking around about somewhat sensitive subjects, and finally hurt feelings and questions of respect for my personal privacy and right to express myself freely with people who I trust.
Here’s the thing, I don’t mind the occasional poke to the ego, but if I’ve been emotional with you about something, or stretched myself to have a conversation and honest discussion about a topic I’m not one hundred percent sure of, please understand that I struggle at the best of times to express how I feel or what I think. When how I feel about whatever the subject is becomes the butt of a joke, I feel stupid, or like how I feel is somehow less valid. I know that the conversations aren’t being shared with this intention, but when I tell you how I feel about it, perk up your ears and listen. Try not to add insult to injury by telling me that being upset about it is silly.
All of this is made worse by the fact that the third party has often been someone who I personally would never have shared the conversation with for many reasons. Maybe I’m a worry wart, but I hate it when there is a conversation had about me, that could change someone’s opinion of me, and no one thinks to provide the context so that I don’t sound like a raging lunatic. Everything is about perception, sure, but every once and a while, the speaker has control of how things are perceived by putting a spin on the information.
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